The holidays can be tough on divorced parents and their children. This can stem from the family nature associated with these days, holiday traditions, and memories from years past as an intact family. The good news is that it is entirely possible to be a great parent, regardless of the circumstances that may surround you during the holiday season. Here are 5 tips to help you along the way:
1. Keep it simple: Not every holiday has to be elaborate or filled with countless gifts for your children. Finances can be tight following a divorce. Don't feel like you have to compete to win your children's affection. Put some thought and sentiment into the gifts and you will be fine.
2. Remember both sides of the family: This is important, despite any bad blood or feelings of ill will that may exist. Your children still have two families. Such actions reinforce a strong sense of family and show your children that their relationships with their extended family do not have to suffer as a result of the divorce.
3. Help your children shop for their other parent and stepparent(s): Children want to give gifts to the people in their lives just like adults do. Many children have limited funds and often feel very awkward about buying gifts for the first few Christmases after the divorce. Make it easier on them by offering to help.
4. Build new family traditions: Divorced parents often try to duplicate exactly what the family traditions were before the divorce. Instead, create your own new traditions and let the children share in the planning.
5. Communicate with your children: Your children need to know what you are thinking and they need to know you care. If you feel ashamed of your divorce or ashamed of a broken relationship with your children, do not avoid them. Be a good parent and move forward.
And if you do not have your children on Christmas, visit your parents, siblings or extended family and celebrate with them. Consider doing some volunteer work at your church or local charity. Whether you are deep into the divorce process, or whether you have been divorced for years, the key is in the way you handle the holiday with your ex and how you present it to your children. Remember that the children should be the primary focus and work from there.
Happy Holidays from the Law Office of Joseph A. DiPiazza, LLC.
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